Caroling LOTR Style
by Mendora Queen of Fire
Summary: Silly Lord of the Rings songs to the tunes of your favorite Christmas carols!
1. Frodo Got Run Over by a Spider

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Frodo Got Run Over by a Spider

(sung to the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer)

WARNING! WARNING! RETURN OF THE KING SPOILER! Don't read if you haven't seen the movie! And if you haven't seen it, you really, really should 'cause it's just…woooooooooow.

Frodo got run over by a spider

Sneakin' into Mordor Christmas Eve

You can say there's no such thing as Shelob

But as for Sam and Frodo they believe

He'd bee eating all the lembas

Frodo told him just to go

But he forgot his guide was evil

And up the Secret Stair he goes

It was later that Sam found him

At the scene of the attack

He had a sting mark on his stomach

And Shelob sneaking up behind his back

Frodo got run over by a spider

Sneakin' into Mordor Christmas Eve

You can say there's no such thing as Shelob

But as for Sam and Frodo they believe

It's not Mordor without Frodo

So at the spider Sam did hack

And then he asked the question:

Should he take the Ring himself or give it back?

Sam had thought that Frodo left him

Thought that he was dead and gone

But the orc said that he was not dead

And to Sam's great chagrin he was proved wrong

Frodo got run over by a spider

Sneakin' into Mordor Christmas Eve

You can say there's no such thing as Shelob

But as for Sam and Frodo they believe

We're all so proud of Samwise

He's not taken this so well

He stormed into the tower

Pulled out his shiny sword and gave 'em hell.

More sillyness on the way! Hope you enjoyed!


	2. The Little Dark Lord

The Little Dark Lord  
( sung to the tune of "The Little St. Nick" by the Beach Boys)  
Ooooooo  
Happy questing hobbits  
Ringwraiths come this time each year  
Oooooooo ooooooo  
Well, way out east where the air feels old  
There's a tale about evil that you've all been told  
A real nasty lord all dressed up in black  
And he spends all his time tryin' to get his Ring back  
It's the Little Dark Lord  
Ooooo Little Dark Lord  
It's the Little Dark Lord  
Ooooo Little Dark Lord  
Just a little sword we call Anduril  
She slices up the orcs like they're little orange peels  
She's chopped off the fingers of the Little Dark Lord  
And when Strider hits the orcs, man, they're all just gored  
It's the Little Ranger  
Ooooo Little Ranger  
It's the Little Ranger  
Ooooo Little Ranger  
Run run orcses  
Run run orcses  
Whoaa  
Run run orcses  
Run run orcses  
He don't miss no one  
And haulin' through the woods at a frightnin' speed  
On the fastest horse you've ever seen, the Shadowfax steed  
The wizard's got his staff and his pet hobbit too  
And to Minas Tirith they're tryin' to get through  
It's the Little Gandalf  
Ooooo Little Gandalf  
It's the Little Gandalf  
Ooooo Little Gandalf  
Ahhhhhh  
Oooooo  
Happy questing hobbits  
Evil comes this time each year 


	3. We Three Rings

We Three Rings  
  
Sung to the tune of "We Three Kings" (duh)  
  
And a cameo from Pippin  
  
Row row row your boat  
  
Underneath the stream Ha ha fooled your ass I'm a submarine  
  
(A booming, divine-sounding female voice sounds form somewhere Above) Pippin!  
  
Yes, your royal Mendoraness?  
  
You're ruining my song!  
  
(The young Took is suddenly looking close to tears) I'm sorry. I just thought.::sniff:: Denethor didn't like my singing, either..  
  
(Mendora rescinds her heartless comment on Pippin's singing ability, as a tearful hobbit is the one thing that can stir her mercy)  
  
I'm sorry, I'm sorry! You have a gorgeous voice, Pip. I love your accent and the song you sang for Denethor was the sweetest, and, erm, what I mean is- THE SONG FOR DENETHOR WAS AN EXCEPTION! YOU ONLY SING WHEN YOU'RE STINKING DRUNK!  
  
(Pippin whimpers)  
  
Okay, okay, you can come in on the Oooooh oh!'s okay?  
  
Really?  
  
Really really. YA HAPPY?  
  
Yes, your royal Mendoraness  
  
Now then. On with the song!  
  
We three rings of elven-ish make  
  
Rise up now, the Dark Lord Awakes Good is ceasing Bad increasing And Sauron has raised the stakes  
  
Ooooooh oh!  
  
Eye of Sauron Eye of might Eye of red and nasty light Visene seeking Still is creeping Trying to restore its sight  
  
Nenya, mine, Galadriel's ring Scaring hobbit's just my thing Queen forever Evil? Never! Rule over the elves that sing  
  
Ooooooh oh!  
  
Queen of Lorien Lady of Light Glow-in-the-dark and shining bright One Ring needing And mind reading While over all creeps the night  
  
Elrond, me the noble elf lord Came here 'cause I was a bit bored Ranger dealings, Daughter stealing Oh, he will feel the sword  
  
Ooooooh oh!  
  
Elf of power Elf of might Elf who gets in nasty fights Matrix leaving Still is grieving Agent Smith he brought to life  
  
Gandalf was I till I fell in the bleach To Saruman I've a lesson to teach Uruk growing Evil sowing Whose arm has lost its reach  
  
Ooooooh oh!  
  
Wizard of power Wizard of White Wizard who puts the bad to flight Third ring keeper There goes my beeper 'Nother war I've got to fight 


End file.
